Dear Current Partner of my adult child.
I love and appreciate you.
I think you are a wonderful person and you have gone through some kind of hell in your life.
I have no idea what that was and I don’t need to know.
I acknowledge and see the effect of the abuse.
I am sorry that it happened to you.
I don’t need to know what it was.
But it’s time for some straight talk.
This is not working for me.
And this is my house.
This is obviously not working for my child.
And I do not believe that it is working for you.
So we will make some changes - gentle changes - but changes we will make.
You have 2 choices here -
You can be part of the solution or you can be part of the solution.
That’s it!
Those are the choices.
I will not threaten to kick you out, because that’s not what community does. Community supports - it does not abandon.
But with the support comes a need for you to try. So, try you will.
You can be part of the solution or you can be part of the solution.
Because I know you can.
People who just leave you be - gave up on you.
My child will not give up on you until she has to. I didn’t give up on the Glitch for a long time.
I allowed the Glitch to make my life harder - and then it became harder for me only - and then I realized that he enjoyed watching me suffer.
That’s when I walked away.
I have now given up on the Glitch. And you see where the Glitch is. You see where I am.
The Glitch is alone - in a nursing home.
He was preparing the saddest version of himself so someone would care.
People still care for the Glitch because that’s what people do. You care for people, even for the ones who are dogs.
I know you feel a lot like the Glitch, but you don’t have to be one. You have something the Glitch does not have!
You have empathy!
But make no mistake about it, my child will give up on you when she realizes that you are causing harm to the people around her and to her relationship with those people.
So you need to change to make sure that you will continue to be part of this thing.
My child loves you.
But it’s a destructive love - I know it, I’ve seen it, and I will not allow for your lives to parallel mine, if I have anything to do with it.
You do not want to be the Glitch.
The only person who can change that is you.