It's a decision that I've been playing with for a long time.
I have a big touch of pathological demand avoidance, so the "forever" part of quitting is bugging me. I don't want the '30 days sober' leering over my shoulder.
That ticking number to my mind is not a daily reminder of winning. It's a daily threat! It's a measure of the size of shame and punishment that a failure will cause. It gets bigger with each day as that number rises. So no, a counter would be counterproductive (pun intended!) for me.
I could not lose weight counting calories, either. The weekly check of food diaries in our weight loss workshop was pure hell. I finally lost the weight for good when I changed my attitude towards food: From comfort to nutrition.
I need external validation, but internal motivation. It's got to make sense to me. Ergo, the "does it serve a purpose" is a much healthier discussion - and the recognition that "wait, it may just be actively harming me as we speak" may just be the spark I need to keep me from bringing alcohol back in the house.
I drink rarely these days, but these days I am questioning why I drink at all - ever. It does not appear to serve a purpose - and may actually be doing harm.
I am leaving it behind now, too. I thought “drinking alcohol is something adults do.” But now I know it’s awful for my body. So I am in a new stage of adulthood: drinking herbal tea instead of OH.
I'm with you, girl. No more numbing or dumbing. We need to stay awake even if it's painful, especially for what's ahead for the US.
It's a decision that I've been playing with for a long time.
I have a big touch of pathological demand avoidance, so the "forever" part of quitting is bugging me. I don't want the '30 days sober' leering over my shoulder.
That ticking number to my mind is not a daily reminder of winning. It's a daily threat! It's a measure of the size of shame and punishment that a failure will cause. It gets bigger with each day as that number rises. So no, a counter would be counterproductive (pun intended!) for me.
I could not lose weight counting calories, either. The weekly check of food diaries in our weight loss workshop was pure hell. I finally lost the weight for good when I changed my attitude towards food: From comfort to nutrition.
I need external validation, but internal motivation. It's got to make sense to me. Ergo, the "does it serve a purpose" is a much healthier discussion - and the recognition that "wait, it may just be actively harming me as we speak" may just be the spark I need to keep me from bringing alcohol back in the house.
I drink rarely these days, but these days I am questioning why I drink at all - ever. It does not appear to serve a purpose - and may actually be doing harm.
“From comfort to nutrition.” Love this! I am making that switch too!
Wow. This is such a good one. Relatable. 100%
I am leaving it behind now, too. I thought “drinking alcohol is something adults do.” But now I know it’s awful for my body. So I am in a new stage of adulthood: drinking herbal tea instead of OH.
Growing up! Growing beautiful!
Thank you Jodi, great to hear from you again.
I still like my tea black, but one addiction at a time.
Speaking of growing beautiful - I just love all the wonderful things you have been doing in your life! You've got the spunk that keeps you going.